“Heavy words are so lightly thrown. I stole and lied, and why? Because you asked me too. But now you make me feel so ashamed because I have only got two hands. Well I’m still fond of you. So what difference does it make? It makes none but you must be looking very old, tonight” The Smiths, What Difference Does It Make
If this life is a just hologram created by a intelligence to see and feel itself then what’s the point in being able to see that? Nothing, except to the cartoon of a mind that thinks and wants to play pretending it is real.
Sure some “enlightened” ones have had the fortune or misfortune, however you choose to THINK it, to be able to see through a crack in glass that projects the movie and see past the illusion. But what difference does it make?
What does that do for anything or any imaginary one in the dream to see itself not real? That can be a horror as quickly as it can be a blessing. To see the illusion you think you are, isn’t. What good is that to know you are a mirage in the desert? That you aren’t so something that is can see itself and feel. To know “I am” is simply so “The I am that I am” can have self actualization. The self actualization is not for the ego or the “I” that thinks. That “I” or thinking is to allow nothing to Be.
What is more disturbing? To be a illusion that can see that or be a dance of energy “thinking” it knows what it never can and not have a clue it isn’t while it thinks it is.
“I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I am the son and the heir of nothing in particular. Well when you say it’s gonna happen Now. What exactly do you mean? Because I’ve waited to long and all my hope is gone. The Smiths, How Soon Is Now
“Came to believe that a power greater then ourself could restore us to sanity” Big Book AA
We can never escape the struggle, pain, fear, worry and regret. Those words only point at something. Because we say worry or anxiety we want to think we know what it is. We don’t know though. We just call it something and think of it in way that gives our mind a feeling of understanding. If you see that concept that I’m pointing at then you can see how you can’t “think” your way out of your mind, or fear… You have to walk through it with awareness, looking past it for something we don’t know. By looking for it and not thinking it, we are not trapped in a reflection that lives in a mirror of thought. Instead we become one with the river that runs through us all. The intelligence of creation.
“The river that flows in you also flows in me” Kabir
When you see it in that light you can see how the manifestation of our ego is a lie pretending to think itself real that causes us to live in fear as the ego will die. We however are not the ego or the reflection in the mirror. We are what is before the thought that thinks it is. We are not the image in the mirror. We are, what is, before it. The reflection is a ghost that THINKS it is alive.
Seeing a death and a resurrection in that process is seeing the death of duality and the birth of non duality. One is so the other can be. There is no bad or good. They only live in a ghost that wants you to think it is real.
Our suffering then is not what it seems. It is a doorway to so much more then what we can know. If we only think our suffering is what it appears to be then that is what it is. If we look past our suffering for something we don’t know, then we find something more then anything we could know and our life takes on a new meaning.
Owning a new meaning is not thinking it or understanding it. It is looking into the cancer that has invaded our body, searching for a meaning in the divorce of the one we love more than ourself, finding a purpose in all the pain and feelings of failure our addiction, in what ever form it comes to us in, brings us. It’s looking inside the part of us we are afraid of, ashamed of and/or want to hide to the world, that yields a treasure worth more then any amount of gold.
We all want to see ourself. Be it in a reflection of others or a mirror. God to wants to see himself. Love wants to know itself. That is why we are. We are so what is can be. In being we come to be one with ourself. Duality sees non-duality as the mirror sees past itself in the crack in the glass. That break in the glass is our suffering and when we look into it we see past the mirror.
The term “Lila” is one I reflect on often as I once heard it described as our lives are merely the dance of The Gods. They want to enjoy them self. At first it gave me a feeling of discontent and feeling trivialized.
“I think that God has a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing” Depeche Mode
I too will be laughing with him when I die because I can see all the love in my pain. He gives me that so I can awaken to him. The longer I push away the pain the more I feel it and think it. When I finally wake up to what he is telling me I then let go of what I think and look into life to see what it is telling me and I become more then anything I have ever known.
If we die, to the part of us that believes are fear is real, before we die, then we will never die.
“When one realizes the Self, in whom all life is one, changeless, nameless, formless, then one fears no more. Until we realize the unity of life, we live in fear.” Upanishads
We all have our own perception. By observing others perceptions we broaden our own. Everyone has something we can learn from and if we look at others in that light. We no longer have friends and enemies. The world is our teacher and God is the world.
“I say to you, love your enemies” Jesus, Matthew 5:44
The bible has many translations which implies that words are ambiguous. Love can have many meanings but If we look for a metaphor of what it implies we are not stuck in cage of I and them. If we instead see love as seeing ourself in our friend and our enemy that then gives us a completely different perspective. There is no you and me. Their is only one. We then accept and forgive, not because we agree or think we are better than someone. We can see our hope, joy, success, suffering, pain and fear in everyone. Things like hate are turned Into compassion because we allow ourself to see ourself in each other. We then have no enemies.
Sometimes we may see that with a clarity that can make us cry and other times we can feel lost in our mind and not see anything but our thinking that has a need and lives in our fear.
That place of despair is a pivotal point of letting go and seeing the reflection of our fear in us for what it really is. We can’t get past that fear. Though, that is deep in us until we get there. That is why our suffering will set us free.
We can’t choose our suffering or our cross to carry because that is our ego in a masochistic display that serves the mind that thinks and lives in fear. It’s the suffering that is not our choosing and that threatens our mind. It is that cross, we have to carry, that saves us.
It is the pause in that place of not knowing and not thinking over that the silence of no mind opens a door inside us to something more.
“Let go of what ever thought or idea you are holding of fear, hope, anxiety, desire, achieve or want. Let go and when you let go of all there is, step back. Go back from were ever you are in your mind. Go back. Go back till you come to the end. When you reach the end, step over the wall of something that holds you back and fall into nothing. See the illusion of something in nothing. Be nothing. Be now” TFG
I use to be crippled by fear and worry. Tomorrow was a fear I didn’t want to face. Today how ever I am not crippled in the cage of my mind that I use to be.
I look for a meaning in my pain, how ever it comes to me. I don’t lament on my pain and I don’t waste time explaining it to myself or others. I simply look past it and I do that in all the ways I have mentioned in this book.
My highs now are having a sense of accomplishment in walking through my pain. In discovering a way to grow by addressing my fear and not hiding from it.
I found something more then me walking into that fear and so can you.
I spend time routinely throughout the day calming my mind using different forms of mediation. Some days it’s listening to a song and other days it’s looking inside my mind. I look at the moment now in a completely different way then I was brought up to think it in.
I have moments when I’m scared and afraid but I don’t get lost in them now. I use the tools I’ve written about in this book to get a strength I never knew I had.
I’m okay today in this moment. I’m okay today even if I’m not okay and that to me is seeing life and myself in a new way.
I’ve seen breathtaking horizons as I fall, only to soar higher on the sigh of a sleeping volcanoes wall. I’ve danced on mountain peaks as wisps of air made steps for a staircase and a slide for me to climb, fall and glide
I’ve stood still with Eagles on the lip of a mountains draft as they guarded their claim. I’ve flown over valleys as wolves howled declaring their domain.
I’ve been so fortunate to be a flake of snow, watching life come and go.
As I see the flake I thought was me begin to melt. I know something I have only felt. The beautiful snowflake isn’t who I am or something I can show. It’s a reflection of life being what I can never know” TFG
We don’t see a process or the process of creation. As we see we then think what we see. The two are different. They are actually disparate. We don’t understand that though. We see and then think we know. We only know what we think we see. What is, is dynamic. It is a process in motion. What we think is static. It is a understanding which in turn is finite. It takes the process of life and attempts to put it in a box of knowing.
The story is not any one page as each page adds to the story and it is a path. Not a word to be understood in a thought. To know the story by a page or a word is not understanding. It is a thought thinking it knows what it can not.
I was watching a video that was about the making of a song called “Sympathy For The Devil”. It covered the band, The Rolling Stones, making the song. From the earliest footage to the last it was amazing how it chaged along the way. if you see your life as the making of a song you can see that no one aspect of your life is your life.
If you choose to even think at the end of your life what you have lived is your life then that too is merely an illusion. As what we ‘think’ is not what we are. The thought can’t know and as it tries to know it creates a illusion we believe is real.
What happened before our life and what will after our life completely changes the idea of what life is. Even the idea of time, ie. Before & After is a illusion the mind creates. You can’t understand that. You can only see it and as you start to see it you begin to see that analogy in everything. The duality we think creates the illusion of what we think we know.
A well regarded reformist, politician, philosopher and teacher in Chinese history was a man named Confucius who created the framework of Chinese social standards that still exists today and is known as Filial Piety. The term Flial Piety suggests respect to ones elders in a way that transcends the biological family into society and government that creates a standard of behavior that creates benevolence. Filial Piety is thought of as obedience.
It said that Confucius met with a legend named Lao Tzu who is credited with writing the Tao Te Ching which is a visionary book looked at by many as a way to transcend life to higher plane. Supposedly Lao Tzu told Confucious that his work on creating a structured society was meaningless. Confucious is said to have described Lao Tzu as a dragon who lives in the heavens beyond mortals.
Taoism can be seen as a paradox to Confucianism as it denies structure and authority and besets benevolence on a inate process of letting go.
Instead of choosing one or the other, if you see the analogy between the two you can see that in most everything.
Christianity embraces the term Filial Piety in Filial priest or Filial Vicar for a church whose cleric is subordinate to a larger parish.
Christianity in itself is thought in a box of understanding created by the Romans. After Christs death many facets of his teachings were spread through out the land. They were as diverse as the term duality itself. The idea that there were two Gods, one of man and one not of mans understanding along with dualiry in Jesus him self being two different perceptions on the cross described as one suffering and the other laughing. The different teachings are indifferent to what I’m pointing at but the concept is what I’m attempting to show.
The original teachings of Christ were from Jews who saw him in as a revelation to there teachings. They had a liberal view of him and thought the realm of God in much like a action of letting go. The Christianity we know today originated from the Romans. They were not Jews though and turned from there understabding of God to Jesus. The elders of the Roman orthodox incorporated the teachings of Chritianity from the proverbs and teachings of there choosing. The Romans were able to send there message of Christianity through the land by ordaining many priests. So Orthodox Christianity is not necessarily correct. It is the one that won over the other teachings. Any doctrines that weren’t included in the Roman Catholic interpretation of Christ were considered Heresy. Many of the doctrines that weren’t included by the Roman elders had a much more liberal view of Christ and saw his teaching in less of a Filial Piety way of the Old Testament of rules and obedience but a more passive and forgiving nature without rules and instructions.
If you look at The U.S. And see how the government is constantly in a limbo of orthodox or conservative agenda of rules and regulations that they believe are necessary for benevolence as opposed to a liberal concept of benevolence through compassion or letting go. You can see this analogy again.
The term Wu-Wei suggests action thru inaction. If you see how being a true Conservative does not live in the idea of rules and regulations but sees them as a way to benevolence. A liberal teaching looks not at negating responsibility but instead of letting go of fear, anxiety, worry and trusting in a higher power to give you the direction to do what is right which creates benevolence. They both have the same destination but look at a different path to it.
The ability to see the destination and not be consumed with the path to it can create harmony along the way. Which ever way you go. If your going down town. It doesn’t matter if you take a car, bus, run or ride bike. Once you get downtown you don’t care how you or anyone gets there as long as you are there.