My Blog has been a way for me to look in the mirror and see myself in words. A way to take the intangible of what I experience and reduce that blur of reflection to words that attempt to mean something.
The only problem with anything “meaning” something is it puts a period on a experience in life. As though “I Know” what that experience means. Once “I Know” I am stopping my ability “to be” the infinity of life. That process that keeps unfolding. By knowing I cut off the connection to infinity and create a box of understanding my thinking lets me live in. That finite box is a cage that I am trapped in by my “knowing”.
So why would I create a cage of thought? I ask myself. To me, that is duality. My cross to bear. My inability to live outside my minds desire to build a castle of thought that will eventually collapse on its own foundation. That thought of meaning that “I think” lives in me, doesn’t live. It’s only a projector on a screen that is seen as long as the image in my mind continues to show it. Once it stops either consciously or in death, my thought is no more.. What ever isn’t real dies and what ever is real never dies. “And so castles made of sand, fall into the sea eventually” Jimi Hendrix, Castles Made Of Sand
That idea of the death of “I am”, The ego that lives in a thought, seems cruel to itself. No matter how long that thought of I am has experienced itself it lives in fear because it knows it isn’t real and it will die and what is real will be. As is if a leaf had consciousness, it would “think” itself to be dying when the fall began to turn it brown. Only, however, till it dies does it become aware that it isn’t a leaf, it is the tree, the roots, the earth, the sea and all of “what is” is what it is. That leaf that thought it knew itself created a box of thought to experience itself in and in that thought it could feel the love of creation that everything is made of. In that thought, however, lives a death of knowing that creates a fear to overcome and a need to ” let go”, of the thought that creates the I am it thinks itself in. “Cause if nothing is the way it seems, then this life is just a haunted dream. And all this love is just falling down through the years. He says I think of the beauty I’ve had and all it does is make me feel so sad. First they make you think your riding high then they toss you off in the Sky and this love is just falling down through the years” Steve Winwood, Judgement Day