Cyclic behavior is often over looked. That fundamental program inside us to deal with life as we experience it. Things like Engrams (blog entries; Dropping In & Undertow) are hidden in our subconscious and we react to life in a programmed way when anything is experienced in our adult life that triggers that Engram to play.
The feelings we grew up with that are planted in our subconscious are replayed in our adult life and we think we make conscious choices but we don’t. Instead we make decisions based on a subconscious feeling to either a positive engram that helps us or a negative engram that hurts us.
So the “good” or the “bad” of our child hood is replayed inside us when we experience sonething that reminds of our childhood. Be it the tone of someones voice, the subtle demeanor of a stranger or the emotions we feel from soneone else can either attract us or repell us because of the subconscious feelings we react too but are unaware of.
This explains why we are constantly attracted to a similar type of person. The programming of our cchildhood is manifested in our adult life because of the experiences we have had.
Being aware of this subconscious reaction we have in life of feeling a certain way in certain situations is what can help us turn right instead of left and not be controlled by the feelings of fear that haunt us.
So breaking the pattern of negative behavior we seem to be trapped by is walking through the fear that wants us to react in a certain way. Our desire to be “liked” or drawn to someone is tied to the Engrams being played in our subconscious.
Being aware of the fear that is responsible for how we are reacting to life and not responding to life does not free us or take away the ghosts of our subconscious. We have to confront our ghosts in a conscious manner to overcome the subconscious control they have over us. So instead of avoiding the fear by pushing it away, we need to realize that pushing the fear away is what allows the fear to control us. We have to open the closet of our childhood and confront those Ghoats “memories” in order to overcome them.
That fear of our childhood is just as strong now is it what was when we were a kid so we essentially have to be brave enough to be the child in us and walk through that fear. That entails not reacting to life from a feeling we have of good or bad but instead responding to a situation as it is and not the feelings it inspires. Responding to life and not reacting to life is what frees us of our self made limitations and allows us to not let our feelings control us but instead respond to life as it is and not the programmed thinking that traps us in fear.
So knowing this is helpful to recognize what we need to do to break old patterns of behavior we want to change. Knowing it means nothing though if we don’t step up to the plate inside ourself to see ourself and change the behavior we have allowed to control us. That is the fear we push away that controls us by having us react in a way to avoid it (the fear). That fear is only alive as long as try to avoid it. Once we allow ourself to walk into it we find a strength in us that we never knew we had.
“Angels fall like rain and love is all of heaven away. Stars come down in you and love you can’t give it away. Inside you time moves and she don’t fade. The ghost in you” Psychedelic Furs, The Ghost In You